Domestic Violence: Who is at Fault?

By Hugh V. Collins

Based on the article posted earlier, "Boston Teens state Rihanna is at Fault for Assault", I was compelled to add my perspective.

I am a Boston resident and while I'm not surprised at how some "teens" may think, it is surprising and alarming that they think Rihanna is responsible for her demise. I see teenagers running the streets of the city daily and I tell you, sometimes I just have to shake my head. Why do I feel like you see the same behaviors and think the same thing?

One may say a person's behavior is a direct indication and response to what medicine they receive at home. I use the term medicine because it is something someone usually takes to heal a symptom and some of these kids haven't been getting the right medicine. Domestic violence is common. Whoever tells you domestic violence it is not common is living under a rock. The thought process of the teenagers surveyed, while not unstable, may have answered in honesty based on their exposure to what happens in their home, and how they perceive the behavior of the participants or parties involved - the abuser and the abused.

I feel the miseducation continues to spiral and as wholesome and grown as a teen may be perceived, their minds have not been fully fed and developed to understand the way of life. Truth about life seems to be a distant memory, a far gone phenomenon that bending the light in their direction may take more than a simple mirror redirecting a beam.

How is Rihanna at fault? The only people that know for sure what happened that night are Chris and Rihanna, so right off the bat their premise is flawed. I can assure you none of them were there. I also doubt they analyzed the situation and processed whatever news has been revealed about the incident, to make an educated guess as to what happened. And, I bet their decision was based on who was their favorite artist.

In any case, I think their reasoning for saying Rihanna is at fault is because of an issue that lies deeper within their subconscious than one might think. "Arguments (or fights as it is sometimes referred to) are common in relationship" as the article said. People disagree all the time. Fist fights or straight physical violence is a whole other level that needs to be examined and talked about. Frequent occurrences can also desensitize someone and distort the reality they live.

Here is an interesting fact some of you may not know; Domestic violence is a contributing factor to homelessness.

*A factsheet published by the National Coalition for the Homeless in June 2008 examines the relationship between domestic violence and homelessness. A recent study in Massachusetts reports that 92% of homeless women had experienced severe physical or sexual assault at some point in their life. 63% were victims of violence by an intimate partner. (NAEH Fact Checker, 2007) http://www.bphc.org/bphc/dvp_factsheets.asp

Sometimes an issue that seems so common is taken way too lightly, and then it is examined with a microscope when it is way too late. What would you do if forced with the option of homelessness or withstand abuse? I guess your response is… In any case, neither situation is favorable but you can think far enough down the line to see where this thinking and adverse situation may force victims and their kids to have to deal with something they should not. From that they begin to normalize the behavior and accept it as a reality.

Chris may have some issues and Rihanna may too, but I am not judging either of them. Domestic violence is wrong, and I can only pray that we all learn from this, pray for them and get on with our lives.